Saturday, March 6th, 2010...10:50 am

Sandy the Cat Part 2

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“Mom” Amy screamed from her bedroom. “I finished packing my stuffed animals and the books that I want to bring “

“Great, now you can wash the dishes and rake the leaves outside” Mom answered back. Amy quickly raked the leaves and washed the dishes, then looked around to find her mom so she could get her allowance.

“Let’s see, raking the leaves, worth $5, washing the dishes, worth $10. That makes $15.” Her mom barely finished speaking when Amy grabbed the money from her mom’s hands and dashed to her room.

When Amy was alone in her room, she grabbed the rest of her allowance from her piggybank and added today’s chores to the rest of the money.

“$15 plus $47 dollars equals… she paused for a second. Equals she said again…. $62. I probably have enough money to spend for a cage and maybe enough for 1 or 2 bottles of water.

Amy grabbed Sandy’s worn out and rough leash and attached it to Sandy’s matching collar then slammed the door behind her and headed to the City Pet Shop.

When Amy got to the City Pet Shop, Amy walked in and waited for the chimes to ring.

“Hello Amy” The clerk said. Amy quickly said hi back, but then rushed to the cat cages with Sandy right behind her.

She picked up Sandy and Sandy immediately picked his left paw up and pointed to the cage that was golden – brown and had a litter box inside and also 2 bowls for food and water. Amy picked up the price tag and what she saw made her eyes leap out of her skin.

“9…..$95” and that was all that came out of Amy’s mouth.

On the way home, Amy kept on thinking about what happened in the Pet Shop and thought: Should I buy a cage that is less expensive and less comfortable for Sandy, or should I buy a cage that is more expensive and more comfortable for Sandy? That question was stuck in Amy’s mind the whole way home. But when Amy got home, the question was still there.

Finally Amy decided that the more comfortable that Sandy was, the better that Amy would feel on the train station.

“I’ll wash the dishes Mom” Amy said before anyone else could utter a word out of their mouth.

“Okay Sweetie, but just one question: Why are you doing more than your normal chores? It’s not like you; you don’t even like doing your own chores! Mom questioned Amy.

“It’s just that I want to buy something for Sandy so she will be more comfortable when we move” Amy was able to say. What she said wasn’t completely the truth, but it wasn’t completely a lie either.

“Okay, but you know that you can come talk to us whenever you want” Mom answered.

“Yea, okay mom. Um… thanks” Amy mumbled

“Okay so #64 plus $7 equals $71. That means that I only need $26 more” Amy said over and over again while doing her chores.

“4 more days until the train ride to San Diego. I still need at least $30 more and I only have 4 days!” Amy pointed out to herself the next day.” I’ll have to do around 6 more chores to be able to buy the cage for Sandy and a few of the other stuff I need” Amy quickly got dressed and headed downstairs to eat breakfast. Amy stuffed her breakfast, then hurried to the dishes, mowed the lawn, cleaned her bedroom, and raked the leaves.

“I got $15 from this morning chores so $15 plus $71 equals $86”. Amy said proudly.

Mooom, I’m going to the City Pet Shop” Amy shouted from the living room.

“Okay sweetie, but be back for lunch” her mom answered but all Amy’s mom got was a slam from the door.

“Hey Mr. Picklepott, I was wondering if you could give me a discount for that golden – brown cage. I was thinking about $75 and then I’ll buy cat food that’s $10” Amy said on one breath.

“Well, I’m not so sure….you are moving…..I guess” Mr. Picklepott finally said

“Now, I only need… the yarn and the bag” Amy said while checking off the things on her list. “I guess I can get the yarn from the basement and the bag from the attic” Amy said and then quickly dashed to the basement, then to the attic.

“Amy, finish your last minute packing! Were leaving tomorrow” Mom shouted from the kitchen. Amy was packing, but not the things her mom meant. Amy was setting up Sandy’s “House” for the train ride. Amy gently put the golden – brown cage in the left – hand corner, than put the yarn in the middle, and put the food open on the ground of the cage.

BEEP, BEEP! Went the taxi on the ride to the train station. Sweat was rolling down Amy’s head as they drove and Amy was afraid that if Sandy made one single noise, then Amy’s whole plan was ruined. But, Sandy didn’t make a sound and Amy was relieved. When the taxi finally stopped, Amy ran to the toilet to check on Sandy before they had to go on the train. Her mom said that she would be coming to the toilet in the next 5 minutes, but Amy didn’t hear her because she was already running towards the toilet.

“Meoooow” Sandy whined

“I know your mad at me but believe me, it’s for your own good. Now you have 4 minutes to run around the toilet but be quick!” Amy said and Sandy elegantly jumped out from the box and onto the floor. But suddenly, Amy heard her mom call from the door to the toilet and hearing her mom’s voice made Amy jump which scared Sandy to go under the toilet door. Amy dashed for Sandy just as her mom walked in and said “The trains leaving soon Amy. Be back shortly” and then her mom left and Amy let a sigh of relief slip out of her mouth Amy quickly put Sandy back but forgot to close the bag and then left. While Amy was dashing back to her parents, Sandy quickly, but quietly jumped out of the box and ran to where Amy’s parents were. “Why look, Mark, it looks like Sandy!” Amy’s mom said.

“That’s cause it is” Amy said sobbing while looking at her feet.

“Amy, please tell us what is going on” her mom said sternly. Amy burst into sobs and quickly told her parents everything.

“Well I guess we can keep Sandy because you’ve made this whole plan, and if we give Sandy away, then your plan would’ve been for nothing” Amy’s dad said.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” Amy cried. But this time Amy cried for a good reason.


  • nice story, and li is long

  • Really nice story Elad. I like the use pragrphs

  •   Ms. Terry
    March 9th, 2010 at 9:38 pm    

    What a great story, Elad. You’re starting to use paragraphs really well and I love the way you used strong verbs. Your dialogue was very natural and helped the story flow.
    Making your problem clear at the beginning of the story (even if it’s clear in part 1) would help the reader to understand the story. You built up the action well, but I felt that your conclusion was rushed. Try to use your story mountain to help pace your story so you can finish it completely.

  • Long story Elad. Good dialog.

  • i think that my fiction story is one of my best pieces of work in writing this year because i used a lot of detail, adjectives, adverbs, and verbs.

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